Reader's Digest Condensed Version

While I really want to post full emails, I won't out of respect for her privacy and trust. I haven't kept it totally, which I feel bad about, but the only bit I've slipped out was after she passed and was to only one person that I trust. If she was in my shoes, I don't think she'd find it egregious.... I don't think. Well, I can't do a second take or go back in time. All of that aside, here are some emails from Anne, cut and edited, but original.

~ "the state police need people crazy enough to want to work for them. :-D do you get a gun? maybe you can arrest me and put me in the back of the car and run the siren. that would be fun! we could be on cops and i can wear a wifebeater and drink colt 45 and claim that the crackpipe you found in my wonderbra wasn't actually mine, i was holding it for a friend."

~ "god i miss you like a fat kid misses icecream cake. we should be roommates again. although i warn you now - you know this cold weather we've been having? well picture this: i feel like a snack, so i start up a bag 'o popcorn in the microwave. run out, to take out the trash, run back in to find smoke emitting from the microwave. open the door, it's like a fog machine. i'm screaming, the smoke alarm goes off, my mom's like WHAT THE HELL??? i put on all the fans, grab an oven mitt and run the bag outside, with a trail of smoke behind me. i come back to open all the windows and doors becasue the smoke and smell is everywhere, our neighbors stop by to ask if we're ok - me and mom are sitting in our living room with our coats on and comforters over that while the place "airs out" in -5 degree weather.

only in jersey kids, only in jersey.

:-D"

~ "*great big hugs to the psychology guru* i am your grasshoppah. (i'm so
street)"

~ "i'm a little late on this...i just read your latest entry - i hope you're ok. your words were so powerful, and i want to emphatically say that people do care about you. I CARE ABOUT YOU! you are more important to people than you think, and your strength and clarity are traits i admire. doesn't it suck to be so dependable and responsible? even if you thought about rebelling, perhaps "doing the wrong thing", (anti-spike lee) you'd probably dismiss it because you wouldn't let yourself."

~ "if you need to talk, i am here for you like you are for me. :-) i'm serious about this like my addiction to peanut butter."

~ "erin! hello my favorite tulip. i hope you are ok. we haven't talked since last week so i'm checking up on you. i'm still here if you want to talk, and i'm serious about that, although i'm rarely serious about anything."

~ "why don't you have air-conditioning? so you have to go out to your car or your freezer to experience the bliss of an air-conditioning unit? are you're parents amish or something? should i take a vacation to [my town] to wear bonnets and churn butter?"

~ "i'm all confused about this nypd stuff. like, who the hell plans exams on a sunday? and w00t!!!!!! lookie you with your hot test scores. i can't wait until
you can arrest people and beat them senseless with your rod. When is your physical? in the ubiquitous words of rupaul, "you better work!!!!

the only thing going on in my life is my trip to SAN FRANCISCO, where i can participate in gay marriage, free love, rice a roni -- all on a cable car! i am going aug 25-31, and you are more than welcome to join me anytime. i got my airfare for $212 roundtrip!!!!!!

and what are you doing this july 4th weekend? i say, let's meet in the
city @ times square and have a BBQ! I'll bring my george foreman grill
and a really reallly long extension cord.

GOOD LUCK ON YOUR INTERVIEW TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!
(why am i screaming?)

shashe, shante.
shante shante shante!!!"

~ oh erin -- i just read about cupcake... i hope kitty will make it. i still cry
thinking about max, and he was 18. if he were a dog, he would have been 126 --
that's like, biblical.

how are you doing? what's going on? god, i miss you. i know you're busy with the new job (hope it's going well) and the internship (ditto) but what's your schedule like the next few weekends?

i'm thinking about you --"

~ "erin - ninja master - you are the peanut butter beneath my jelly."

~ "i still love you! tell me what happened...?"

~ "I'm trying to decorate my new desk according to "feng shui guidelines," but
my "fame, fortune, wealth and abundance" corner is the window. I'm thinking that might not be good. "

~ "I hear ya about the bills. I have just enough to cover everything and about a dollah fitty extra for a caramel sundae @ Mickey d's. It's pretty ridiculous.

I don't know how you handle two jobs - You need the money "fuh shizzle," but I'd go insane. You go ahead and hold it down, but don't drive yourself nuts!

When you have some free time in you schedule? We should hang out!!!!! Any longer and I won't recognize you because you'll be a 65 y/o black man!"

I really am not kidding when I say that Anne was easily the funniest person I have EVER encountered. I can't picture anyone topping her EVER. I guess she's just the type of person you have you meet. I've never laughed harder than I've laughed with her. Usually, I am the one making people laugh, not with her. I miss her so much, but I can still laugh- that's how funny she was. The thought that I won't ever hear, see, or touch her again in my lifetime is nearly unbearable.