Devil's in the details

My birthday passed not too long ago. I was looking at an Elvis calendar I received recently from my boss, Kathy. I told her the suit that Elvis was wearing on the promo poster for the Aloha From Hawaii concert (a picture in the calendar) was not the same as the one he actually wore in the concert. She doubted it, albeit politely. I know that I was and continue to be correct. However, I decided to watch the alternate concert on dvd because it's been a little while. Anyone that knows me knows that it doesn't take much to convince me to listen to his singing or watch him gyrate.

As I am watching, the phone rings. Nothing unusual there. However, I decided to crawl over to my phone and see who was on the caller ID. It was Kathy. It was Kathy? Oh no, did I do something wrong?! I go downstairs to listen to the message and she gives me her number to contact her at home about the staff at work.

So, I give Kathy a call. Takes a couple tries, but she answers. She tells me that one of the staff members in the department upstairs had died over the weekend. He seemed nice enough, but I didn't know him very well. I had interned in the department, but I only knew him for a few months. I asked if Lisa knew, she said that their boss would hopefully be calling them to let them know. She urged me to give her a call just in case she hadn't yet been contacted.

I pick up the phone and call Lisa. She answers with, "Aloha!" then says "From Hawaii." I tell her and I hear the emotions welling up, but she doesn't want to really talk to me. Well, either that, or I am totally inept at comforting any other human being. I can think of one exception to that, but I digress.

I noticed something going on of my own too. I was upset about the news, but I am sure not to the degree of those that knew him much better. I hear of anything dying and I feel for it. Hell, I don't even step on bugs. So, I am a bit upset. But, of course, this brings up the still raw emotions linked to Anne's passing. I noticed first that I was thinking of lashing out in a "yeah, it does suck, doesn't it?! Now you know how I felt!" manner. Been there and done that a few times already. I'm becoming a seasoned pro. The magnatude difference bothers me also, and I don't know why. I knew Anne thousands of times better than I knew this staff member, so two different intensities of emotion on my part makes sense. However, seeing people tomorrow and knowing that some/most/any of them are feeling grief for someone that they knew, most likely, less than I knew Anne actually bothers me!! In some sort of twisted way, it seems like I am being invalidated.

The only thing my mother really said about Anne dying, other than asking questions, is that she was thinking how terrible it must have been to been in my position the day I drove into Jersey to see Anne. The day that I made it ~1/2 of the way, got into a car accident disabling my car, and froze sitting in my car because the battery had died with the windows down. Early December, fucking freezing, loud as hell with the cars driving by so fast. Waiting for the tow truck, being taken somewhere I didn't know, having my car impounded, sitting in a building where there was no heat and trying to warm up and no completely break down at the same time. The day I got home around midnight when I left closer to 2.

To really put the icing on the cake- last night I was at someone's house and they were telling me that they had to dress up crazy for a college "hazing". Apparently, they had to wear all sorts of stuff along with a feather boa. I mentioned that I had a friend notorious for wearing a feather boa. Not too much longer, and I see a new video from U2 on television. It looks like they are on a flatbed truck going throughout New York City....yes, they are, there goes St. Patricks in the background.....