A hard butt and a good man

Both are elusive to me. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so quickly disillusioned with guys. Seems like all the fun is in nabbing them. Although, that usually isn't the problem. Sometimes, but not usually. I'm not playing games. When I'm "done" with one of them, that's it. Is it too much to ask that my knight in shining armor just lands in my lap? Although, it would help if he was riding his gallant steed, so that I could pick him out easier. No mistaking if he lands in my lap WITH the horse. I hate drama and these days I'm doubting I'll ever meet "the one". Oh, and by the way, I don't hate all guys. Most, heh, probably.. until they prove themselves as non-assholes. Not ALL though. I know more than one guy that's quality. It's when they start acting like asses that I hate them. Petty shit I hate. Jealousy I hate. Drama (especially man-drama) I hate. I can't even explain the loathing the boils up in me when I hear of something unjust that a guy has done or said. I naturally distrust them. I have no tolerance for their stupidity whatsoever.. and that probably comes from my father. I'm.... not particularly fond of my father in so, so many ways. Between him and my mother, I really believe that I'm messed up relationship wise. I never was shown what a healthy marriage or a healthy relationship was. Never. The warzone that I grew up in no child should have to suffer. It was my nightmare. When I went to sleep, at least I had a chance of having a nice dream. Their wars definitely affected me profoundly. No one knows how bad it was. Anyways.. off topic.

I've been getting bogged down more lately than usual with my thoughts. Bloody brain.

And, since I'm complaining, I also wish I had a hard ass. I hate this jiggly shit. I want to be able to bounce a quarter off my toosh and take someone's eye out on the rebound. Life is so not fair.