Not sure what the urge is

For a good portion of the day I have had a very odd feeling. For some reason now, I am compelled to write it down. Not everything, though. Unfortunately, most times I understand more than I am able to express. The only way to say it is that I feel empty. Like there is truly nothing there except some serious self-loathing. I haven't been in a good mood today, but I haven't been in a bad one either. I am solidly a 5/10. If I have ever felt like this, I don't remember it. It is a very uncomfortable feeling. I remember very well feeling the unending pain and anger, but not this. Bizarre. Truly.